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| The Argo, by Lorenzo Costa |
The Argonauts is a memoir of author Maggie Nelson's pregnancy and relationship with her partner Harriet/Harry Dodge-- the formation of her family and how to describe it. The title alludes to the ship "The Argo" whose parts were replaced over time but whose name stayed the same. New boat, same name. And doesn't this happen all the time in language? "Words are good enough" (p3) but "once we name something ... we can never see it the same way again" (p4) and "words change depending on who speaks them" (p8). What is radical, and what does it mean when one person describes another as radical? Queer? Gay? Lesbian? Male? Female? Gender and language fluidity go hand-in-hand throughout the book.
The middle quote really struck me as YES moment: "once we name something ... we can never see it the same way again". I think about this whenever I read an article about the latest advances in quantum physics, which is one of the few fields where new identifying nomenclature is being coined anymore. Some poor journalist is trying to explain quarks and bosons and I'm over here thinking about these particles existing since the beginning of time but now they have Been Named. This happens a lot in science. Once you name something, you can work with it, you can subjugate it and contextualize it with language and other names.
Nelson points out that often the listener is trapped at the label assigned to the speaker (e.g., gay/lesbian) and can't get beyond it to meaningful discussion (one may observe the parallels to political discourse in this country). Although, while Nelson notes this, I felt like at certain points the book was guilty of it -- Nelson is almost hyper-aware of comments or conversations that could relate to her atypical relationship. "Not everything is about you," I crankily critiqued the memoir ...
Another section I found interesting was a reference to Judith Butler's idea of performative (not performance) gender. To elaborate, in Butler's own words:
"We act and walk and speak and talk that consolidate an impression of being a man or being a women ... we act as if that being of a man or that being of a woman is actually an internal reality or simply something that is true about us. Actually, it is a phenomenon that is being produced all the time and reproduced all the time."
There is a whole body (puns!) of literature on this, so my limited initial understanding is that your (gender) identity is many ways a reflection back from an audience. The production and reproduction of a gender impression involves repetition of societal gender norms and complicit participation in historically gender-based power structures. Bookmarked for further contemplation/reading.
For more: On Judith Butler and Performativity by Sara Salih
And something less dense: Gender Is Not Just a Performance by Julia Serano ... FOR THE COMMENTS SECTION
Other fav moments from The Argonauts:
"[Queer pride is] a refusal to be shamed by witnessing the other as being ashamed of you." (p18)
"How does one get across the fact that the best way to find out how people feel about their gender or their sexuality -- or anything else, really -- is to listen to what they tell you, and to try to treat them accordingly, without shellacking over their version of reality with yours?" (p53)
Bottom line: Excellent. Come prepared to make notes and learn shit and be enlightened.
Book clubs:
Difficult Women by Roxane Gay -- TBD AND I AM VERY EXCITED
I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai -- TBD
The Handmaid's Tale -- It's everywhere! It's in my next blog post!
Small Great Things by Jodie Picoult -- Even though this book involved a bunch of tropes and ham-handedness, it made me mad and it made me reflect. Mostly it made me realize that several things I do could be construed as racist, and that was mortifying. I'm surprised at how much I haven't stopped thinking about this book. Looking to tie this into a future post at some point; just waiting for the right companion book.
The Orphan's Tale by Pam Jenoff -- Fluff.
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