Run Through the Jungle

"Matterhorn" was a book that floated onto my shelf gradually (mentioned somewhere by someone, idly bought at Target of all places) and stayed there for almost a year, the subject of yearning glances while I slogged through a particularly thick 'to read' priority pile. So. AT LAST! I'll say that for all the build-up, the novel moved along briskly and used a "show, don't tell" approach where Marlantes didn't beat me over the head with philosophical interludes. As with any novel that deals with war, in this case Vietnam, it was a sobering yet necessary reflection on ugly things. Author bio (not sure why Bill Moyer is more complete than Wikipedia): Karl Marlantes 

Ray Mahon - Stars and Stripes
South Vietnam, October, 1966: A helicopter approaches the landing zone to deliver supplies and evacuate U.S. Marines wounded in the battle for Hill 484.

It wasn't until I assembled my quote list for this post that I realized the emphasis on choice and decisions throughout the novel. Yes, there are grander important themes like the insanity of war and what is honor and who is the enemy, but these particular passages jumped out and made me pause.  Here's a character/author who's endured horrific conditions and in the midst of senseless misery you see these nuggets of courage, faith, and belief in humanity -- why keep going, how to keep going.  I'm not going to get into details about the book or close-read shit in this post, other than to say it reminded me of Catch-22/Apocalypse Now/Platoon.  And some parts will absolutely sucker-punch you in the gut.    

"He would not slip into the jungle and save himself, because that self didn't look like anything worth saving. ... Dying this way was a better way to die because living this way was a better way to live."
(399-400)

"No, the jungle wasn't evil. It was indifferent. So, too, was the world. Evil, then, must be the negation of something man had added to the world. Ultimately, it was caring about something that made the world liable to evil. ... Without man there would be no evil. But there was also no good, nothing moral built over the world of fact."
(500)

"Meaning could come only from his choices and actions. Meaning was made, not discovered. ... What he did and thought in the present would give him the answer, so he would not look for answers in the past or future."
(564)

"I see my friend Broyer get his face ripped off by a mine. What you think I do all night, sit around thankin' Sweet Jesus? Raise my palms to sweet heaven and cry hallelujah? You know what I do? You know what I do?  I lose my heart. ... Then, the sky turn gray again in the east, and you know what I do? I choose all over to keep believin'. All along I know Jesus could maybe be just some fairy tale, and I could be just this one big fool.  I choose anyway. ... It ain't no easy thing."
(466)